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Kelli Mahoney

Getting Over Your Heartbreak

By January 23, 2009

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Dating is a fairly common thing with most Christian teens, and it takes a lot of courage to open up your heart to someone else. Yet opening up your heart also means it can be broken. A breakup isn't the end of the world, but that doesn't mean it's not painful.

Does that mean you just close yourself off to others? No. People will come in and out of your life, and the coming and goings aren't always pleasant. Then you have to deal with friends and family trying to be consoling or funny in order to help you get over your breakup. Often you end up feeling guilty that you're in pain.

Yet, you have to let yourself feel the pain so you can let go of the heartache. One of the best ways to do that is to pray. Have a conversation with God about how your are feeling. He's the best secret-keeper, anyhow. You can tell Him anything, and He's always there to listen. Allow Him to guide you through your heartache so you can heal. While everyone around you may give you advice of how to get over your heartache, it is God that will not only offer advice but actually help you heal.

Comments
February 10, 2009 at 8:20 am
(1) diana says:

The worst thing to feel is a heartbreak, the pain doesnt seem like it will ever go away.. My one and only love (and first love) has taken a part of my heart and crushed it. All I can do is pray, maybe this is God’s plan, but all I can see is him in my life in my future, marrying him and having kids. These past 3 years were everything to me with him. He has seen me change in my life and has been there in the most important parts of my life; Baptism, license, my nephew being born, and just problems that i had in my life. But now that he is gone and wants to end this, its just tearing me apart and do not see the light at the end of the tunnel. It just seems it will be dark for awhile…But I thank you for writing this blog, I am doing my best to reach out to God for Help and I know he will hold me in his arms! God Bless!

February 21, 2009 at 10:20 pm
(2) madeline says:

its true when i talk to god i feel alot better but other times I feel like crying on a best friends sholder and that helps to and its the same with god if it is to awkword to go to your mom/dad/bff/f god can b ethat shoulder!!!

March 2, 2009 at 3:33 pm
(3) Steve says:

I can not take this pain anymore I just wish i could press the delete key so i can just get this feeling out of my heart, head, body and life. The only girl that i have loved truely, my first love, has made life unbearable but with God’s help i pray that i get over her.

April 27, 2009 at 1:39 pm
(4) mihir says:

i can never forget her she talked so sweetly so charming was her face i wrote poems for her also did i draw her potrait i loved her every single momment in life jsut becoz of some misunderstanding she ditched me?? she used me on last day like she was very happy with me she played with mi emotions god do teach her a good lesson so that she could never ever forget me….

May 25, 2009 at 12:29 pm
(5) R says:

Diana, i know exactly how you feel!
My boyfriend recently broke up with me, well it’s been a month or so. It was due to the fact we both acknowledge that we kept putting God before one another, thus leading to arguments, thus leading to him not being sure as to whether i was the one for him. We are now separated and are growing in the Lord. As a result of this breakup, he is treating me as a friend and essentially with a lot less emotion and love than he used to, he has turned stern hard and rigid. And it’s tearing my hearts to shreds. He says that he wishes and hopes to be with me in the future, and wants to find whether it’s God’s will for us to be, but is packing those hopes and dreams away in a box and using that effort and energy to focus on God. Fair enough, but he acts like a single expression of hope to me is absolute sin. It really has put me in a compromising situation as i love him more than anything, am i limbo? There are days where i feel hopeless and melancholy, but other days where i feel strong with Our Lord! It is terribly hard! And like you , i can’t see past all those hopes and dreams we’ve shared.
I hope it all works out for you, God Bless You.
x

May 25, 2009 at 12:53 pm
(6) R says:

Sorry huge typing error in the last comment- i meant we acknowledged we keep putting one another before God!
xx

July 14, 2009 at 6:13 am
(7) Mike | Getting Over Heartbreak says:

Hello Kelli

I was dating a woman and we were planning to get married and out of the blue we broke up. It was one of the hardest things I ever had to go thru.

I prayed and prayed. Believe it or not I fasted for a couple of days, i was hurting big time.

What it came down to is that the whole process made me stronger and I was able to see things that i needed to improve on myself.

During heartbreak trusting GOD can be the hardest thing to do, but he does things for a reason.

August 25, 2009 at 12:51 pm
(8) Kim says:

I am 22 i have dated the same guy for the last 5 years and recently(about a month ago) he said he wasnt happy and broke up with me. I felt like my world was crashing down around me and most days still do. Since the first year we were together we had been talking about getting married one day. Our feelings were always strong from the beginning. He was the world to me so trying to get through life without him everyday has been close to impossible. I really do believe God is bigger then this and he has a plan for my life and it may or may not involve getting back with him. Even in knowing the truth the pain i feel everyday is often unbearable. I lost my boyfriend and my best friend…he was my other half for 5 years. I feel like i have lost my inner joy. I feel very empty inside. I am praying everyday that somehow God will get me through this and that someday it will stop hurting but it is so hard when i feel like the pain is consuming me.

December 29, 2009 at 6:48 am
(9) N says:

Me an my boyfriend broke up the day after Christmas this year, after we started planning to get engaged en that we want to start our own life together. It just happened while we were at his sister’s. I’m still trying to get used to him not being there, me living with my parents again and not seeing him at all. I cant explain to any of you how I’m feeling, but I think you all know. I still love him very much and I know that he still loves me and that he wants to be with me, but that he is scared to really commit, because his mother never really teached him how to commit to someone you love. I believe that God will give us a chance to make things right, I talk to him loudly, I don’t care who hears me. i just want him back and the way things was. So I can relate to you R and Diana. I pray that this will work out for us!!!

March 16, 2010 at 11:17 am
(10) M says:

Im so sorry N..
It happend to me too, I was with my other half for two years and 2 months.. we went to disneyland on thursday..to a youth service on Fridy..saturday we were a match made from heaven.He is the love of my life, my first Boyfriend/best friend. on Sunday the day of my youth banquet HE texted me right befor christmas that it was over. I felt crushed. after a week he wanted a 2nd chance but than 1 week later he changed his mind he said that he wasnt hapy with me. But I was happy with him.. I have many questions. Its been only 2 months and im trusting in God.. for all women,youth,teens,girls thats have a heart break JUST TRUST IN GOD it is the Best thing to do. Its hard alot of the time but GOD wont give us anything that we cant handle :)

July 14, 2010 at 6:29 am
(11) E says:

i have had this relationship long ago and im over it, but recently a near dear friend of mines who i care about it very much had a girlfriend. He Loved her so much you have no idea, they kept their relationship in the Lord. So there was so much love, but they got into an argument about something that was misunderstandable over fb. THey have dated for so long on facebook. MY friend never heard her voice or never seen her in person but loved her so much. But now She broke up with him because she thinks he doesn’t no what he wants. OMG Even though i wasn’t in the relationship. It struck my heart and its hurting me like i was in the relationship, i feel so bad and hurt for what my friend has to go thru. I feel literally like i lost someone i loved but didn’t. I had to comfort him with God but his heart is so down in the dirt that he doesn’t have any strength to pray. I prayed for him just yesterday. I don’t know what to do? Its like i know excatly what he is going thru, to lose someone, SHe deleted her facebook and myspace and there’s absoulty no communications at all now. SHe doesn’t even have a fone or anything that is what hurts the most……:’( i feel so bad for my friend………

July 27, 2010 at 12:52 am
(12) Ashley says:

This past year has been life changing for me. before i got baptized i had gotten into a lot of trouble and had trouble with lying. last year I found God and I am so happy I did. He has turned my life around. I also met an amazing man. I thought that i had loved before, but the love that I have for him surpases anything I have ever felt in my life besides recieving the Holy Ghost. I thought everything was going great then a few days ago he writes me a letter about how he doesnt trust me. I have never been anything but honest to him. I love him so much!! I thought everything was going to be ok till I saw him at church ugh that makes things so hard. I dont know what to do. He is my best friend and although I am talking to God I want to be able to talk to my best friends as well.

August 23, 2010 at 10:42 am
(13) marc says:

Hey guys, I never thought it would happen to me. I was always the one that someone cheated on me and this girlfriend who was the first one that ever met my full family and went to family outings all of a sudden sent me a text saying we should take a break and I am a 5th year senior in college coaching football and she helps out with the team so I see her everyday unfortunately, I still love her as much as I did when I said it the first time and she says the same and its so tough I have been feeling like my whole life is falling apart and I just wanna get out of school in december but I have been praying every night and I feel great sometimes and others I feel like crying.

October 15, 2010 at 1:20 am
(14) Kayla says:

Hi, my boyfriend of 2 years dumped me because he didn’t want to be christian anymore. I’m in so much pain. It’s hard to describe my distress. I’m messing up in school and I feel depressed sometimes. I know when Im weak Jesus is strong so Im hanging in there. Im going to let God lead.

December 28, 2010 at 2:20 pm
(15) Jose A Godoy says:

Im 1 Witness of many to experience our lord’s loving power, honestly I could relate to what was shared…
(it’s hard moments like these that knock us down to ourt knees just let it be allow going down & soon after letting go of the pain we will be lifted)
* I recommend that you just let go of your emotion/pain & struggles compressed inside.
Blessings to you! :) (Philipeans 4:13)

January 12, 2011 at 2:37 am
(16) J says:

it has helped opening up to God i recently was broken up with and found out that my girlfriend had cheated on me with her ex and they are now getting back together. it hurt really bad to be betrayed like that and the first thing to cross my mind was to get back at her, but then i realized this is all God’s plans for me to show me that it wasnt meant to be and that there is someone out there that i am meant to be with. i have prayed numerous times everyday since i have found out. just sitting there talking to God has helped me start get over all the emotions of it and having friends and family who are so supportive helps too. God is helping me get through this and he can help anyone with anything, you just have to let him in and break down to him and let him help you through tough times.

January 13, 2011 at 12:23 am
(17) Karina says:

Wow this is helping me alot to see I ain’t alone going trought a heartbreak..I’ve tried everything but God, but I’m sure the all mighty will carry me trough this with prayer and strength! Blessings:)

March 23, 2011 at 4:29 am
(18) analou says:

heartbreak is one of the painful thing in our lives…sometimes you ask GOD about it…why me LOrd?…I didnt hurt somebody but why you allowed such things to happen?…well everything has a purpose(GOD said)….I love you more than them just come to me and Ill give you my life enough to meet your needs..(matthew 6:33)

March 24, 2011 at 2:48 am
(19) Fragie says:

I really understand all of you guys. I broke up with my boyfriend over a year ago and sadly, I haven’t really gotten over him. We had planned to get married but it was not to be as he had fathered a child in a previous relationship and it burdened our relationship. I’ve tried to fill the emptiness with work and other people but clearly, it hasn’t worked. I now know that I have to confront my pain and allow God to walk with me through this process step by step. I can’t run away from it and I don’t want to waste any more time procrastinating this issue. I am now asking God for the courage to confront my pain head on so that my healing process can be complete. God bless you all and just know that God will help us to deal with these issues.He does not ignore our hurt and more than anyone else, He understands what we go through. He will heal our wounds and broken spirits. Just give it all to Him. Remember, He makes all things beautiful in its own time (Eccl. 3:11)

May 4, 2011 at 12:12 pm
(20) GoodGirlSoul says:

Just seeing all of these stories really helped me. I’ve recently been trying to get over an almost 9yr ordeal with a guy that I really loved. He seemed to get over it so quickly and he’s trying to pursue another girl. He was one of my best friends and I feel like I’ve lost so much more than a love interest. I’ve been reading and trying to rest. I’ve been physically ill, really depressed, and I’ve been fighting suicidal thoughts, drinking and self harm. This has turned me into something I never thought I’d become. It can’t be good to love someone like this. This isn’t the first time someone has done something like this to me. It’s been my whole life, with every love interest. I love with a faithful love… and they’ve all thrown me away. People say I’m too nice, blah blah… Someone mentioned fasting and praying earlier. Can’t believe I forgot about that. I need to try it. I know God is faithful and will get me thru this again.

May 8, 2011 at 9:06 am
(21) jen says:

Thank you for the blog and for the comment.
it’s good to know that I’m not alone in this ordeal. I trust God that he will give me the courage to open up my heart to another man.
My love is engaged to be married to another woman. He’ll be married later this week. I’ve never felt so disappointed and so alone in my life. I can’t get over the pain. The worst part is I have to meet him int he office and pretend as if I’m ok with it. Oh God. How it hurts!

July 7, 2011 at 4:41 am
(22) Purity says:

My boyfriend of 5years dumped me, saying he need space when i agreed a day later he posted a photo of his new girl friend on facebook

i have been sending him nasty messages to date, i hate him, i loathe him and all that. I dont think i will find it in my heart to forgive him

September 3, 2011 at 9:06 am
(23) boo says:

these stories have really helped me

i date my boyfriend for a year and it was great relationship he was someone i relied on. we had our arguments and we sometimes talked it through it was really painful when i looked on his phone and he had been talking to his ex girlfriend and it seemed like they were getting back together. while we were dating he refused to change his relationship status i was soo broken and cried so much.
i knew he wasnt going to come back to me, suddenly on bbm he changed his picture to his ex’s picture that got me angry so deleted him. now i really miss him and love him but i know God has a plan for me

January 6, 2012 at 6:31 am
(24) reb says:

Reading thru as really helped me…my gf and bestfriend for 4yrs left me afta an argument…and startd dating another guy..I ve not been able to cope without her..I try but I can’t ..I end up calling her and talking to her..somehw talking to her makes be feel beta..then she later reminds me she’s nomore my gf..she doesn’t even want to talk to me sometimes…its bn 5months nw and I still can’t..I ve tried drinking,another relationship,etc…I’m going to try and do it wit God dis time around..y’all wish me luck

January 26, 2012 at 12:47 pm
(25) S says:

My boyfriend of 2 years broke up with me about two months ago because of a fight. I knew that we had problems, but I didn’t think we would end. We had plans for a future together and everything and I think seeing those plans slowly crumbling away is the worst. Also realizing that someone who was my best friend for so long now wishes to be done with me is truly heartbreaking. Everyday is a struggle because the heartache is still too real. I’m still trying to seek comfort in the Lord and learning to trust that this is all for my good, but some days it is just too difficult. However, He makes everything beautiful. Men cannot fathom what He has done from beginning to end. Though it may be hard, I trust my God. Plus seeing that I’m not alone and reading through these posts is really encouraging. Though we may not know each other personally, I will continue to pray for all of you.

February 11, 2012 at 12:22 pm
(26) reb says:

@S…I ve come to believe Time heals all wounds…I use to think I wud neva get over my ex,though I still think abt it,,it doesn’t hurt like it use to…I ve come to realize d key to recovery frm heartbreak is Pray and Time….and ve Faith that u wud definitely get over it….

June 20, 2012 at 8:08 pm
(27) G says:

I’ve been dealing with my first breakup for about 2 months now.
It was hard for me at first.
Why would a relationship end, was it a complete waste of time, what am i going to do now?
these were all questions i was asking myself.
People tend to hold on the good memories when something is gone or over. But it had to end, it was just a question of time when it did.
Don’t make yourself feel miserable and don’t let yourself see nothing.
You are about to experience greatness and overwhelming moments of truth, new friends, a new way of seeing things.
Don’t close your eyes because i know that after a door is closed a better one is already opened for you.

August 7, 2012 at 11:37 am
(28) Cary says:

Well what can I say? It is always hard when you break up but you realise later that you – although it’s hard to see – often ended up loving them more than God! God in His love knows this idolatry will never work and out of love wont allow it. We always seem to think that they would have been the most etc etc the perfect match and that in itself is quite ridiculous and very dangerous as everyone is a fallen sinful person who even if they believe in Christ death for their sins is a very fallable human being. We often have these ridiculous lists i.e. likes Jazz music, symphony orchestras and jogging when we should be focusing on what sort of ministry to aiming at! Oh that’s right GO INTO ALL THE WORLD etc! Sharing the gospel should be a Christians first love…not Jazz, Pop Art, Bionics, Engineering Etc Etc Etc Jesus says to Love nothing in the world and of the world and yet so many of us including myself get caught up in trash that we expect others to be heavily into before we will believe that we are compatible. If you love the Work of God first above all else and look for opportunities to share praying and reaching out to others I think that common ground enough! and I just love what Paul says inspired as he was by the Holy Spirit….When married you will have trouble in this world and I wish to spare you from it! If you never have children or get married its not the end of the earth! Its not like there will be the married and non married section of sad and lonely people in heaven! So dont idolise marriage and it wont be so harmful if you breakup! Gods Blessing

August 7, 2012 at 11:42 am
(29) CAry says:

This is! shared on another page and I think it is great: “As God moves you forward and away from your breakup, you will be amazed at how the doors and windows open up to other dating relationships. Some Christian teens find comfort in what is sometimes called “relationship jumping,” when they go straight from one relationship to another. The problem with relationship jumping is that Christian teens who do this tend to look to others to complete them rather than God. If someone really special comes into your life, it’s okay to date again soon after a breakup, but be sure you are entering into the relationship for the right reasons and not use the other person as a crutch.” Sorry for sounding so hmmmm in the post above…gleen it for what its worth!
God’s blessings!

December 7, 2012 at 12:09 am
(30) Dani says:

This has been really helpful..God bless you..I need a God-fearing friend..add me on bbm 27B505D0..

December 15, 2012 at 3:08 am
(31) stella says:

Hello every one my name is Stella and i have been married for 4years and i have a break up with my husband 3months ago and i was worried and so confuse because i love him so much. i was really going too depressed and a friend directed me to this spell caster Dr. Okaka and i made all my problems known to him and he told me not to worry that he was going to make my husband to come back to me and in just 48hours i receive a call from my husband and he was appealing that i come back to the house. i have never in my life believe in spell and but now it have just helped me and i am now so happy. Thanks to him and if you also want to have your lover back to yourself then his email is edenokunspelltemple@gmail.com

December 27, 2012 at 8:27 am
(32) Friend_n_Christ says:

I dated the same guy for five and half years, we made a promise to be each other first and two days before Valentines Day he decided I was not the one God wanted for him. He left me for a female who was an atheist and he said thatís what God told him to do. I questioned my very existence, I thought to myself why would God do that, and if that wasnít bad enough he lied about her being pregnant, he became malicious and tried to make me feel like nothing. All of sudden one day I woke up and realized God would never leave me, nor forsake me. I thought to myself I was making positive changes in my life and this was Satansí way of trying to knock me off my path of being a true Christian. I want you all to know it hurts like crap and sometimes you think to yourself why, is it me? Realize that is not you, what God has for us no one can take away from! I know sometimes we disagree with Godsí plan but he knows what we need even if itís not what we currently want!!

Sometimes it helps to talk and if any of you want advice or just a honest Christian to hear your story feel free to email me at ny_bones@live.com

December 27, 2012 at 8:33 am
(33) Friend_n_Christ says:

I dated the same guy for five and half years, we made a promise to be each other first and two days before Valentines Day he decided I was not the one God wanted for him. He left me for a female who was an atheist and he said thatís what God told him to do. I questioned my very existence, I thought to myself why would God do that, and if that wasnít bad enough he lied about her being pregnant, he became malicious and tried to make me feel like nothing. All of sudden one day I woke up and realized God would never leave me, nor forsake me. I thought to myself I was making positive changes in my life and this was Satansí way of trying to knock me off my path of being a true Christian. I want you all to know it hurts like crap and sometimes you think to yourself why, is it me? Realize that is not you, what God has for us no one can take away from! I know sometimes we disagree with Godsí plan but he knows what we need even if itís not what we currently want!!
Sometimes it helps to talk and if any of you want advice or just a honest Christian to hear your story feel free to email me at ny_bones@live.com

July 3, 2013 at 1:30 am
(34) Cassidy says:

About a month ago my boyfriend of a year calls me to say goodnight and then ends our conversation telling me he can’t be with me anymore. He never gave me a reason when I asked him why, he just remained quiet while I cries my eyes out begging him to take back what he was saying. I felt like my whole world around just came to an end. He truly was my best friend and my other half. The next morning he meets me and first thing he says is that he can’t be my boyfriend anymore and then he kissed me and that was the last time we have talked. I pray every night that God will help him through any struggles he might face and to show him that my love was true, even through all the fight we might have had. God has really helped me to mature since the breakup but at times but some days are harder than the rest. Some days I feel so hopeless but then I remember God is always with me and that through him anything is possible.

September 16, 2013 at 4:03 am
(35) Denise says:

Thank you for the blog, It does help me think of the Love of Jesus Christ.

I have let myself fall into satans web by dating a non christian.
After 4 years he finaly admited it after I pressed for the truth that he never loved, predented and only used me.
I had chosen to be with him when I was warned about him. Now I feel the burn. Disobediance of keping our self for God and husband/wife only leads to unnecessary heart break.
Its a pity I learned it the hard way. But I want to let people who are dating and sleeping together to choose to serve God now before you get burned.

November 1, 2013 at 5:56 am
(36) angelheavens says:

I can relate to all of these. Its just in my situation, my ex is no good at all but I still have feelings for him. After having his child, he dumped me and we never got back together. Its been a year now and we never got back together. It hurts cuz he has a girlfriend that he says he won’t leave for me but lately he’s been saying he still has feelings for me. It doesn’t matter cuz I feel like he only saying that cuz I FINALLY put him on child support. He never helped me with my daughter but I still had hope in him. I keep stressing myself out because I go on these social networks to investigate their relationship and it doesn’t make me feel any better. Now his girlfriend could be pregnant which is a bad idea because I’m his 4th baby’s mother so that just proves that he can’t last in a relationship. He put me through hell and I don’t understand why I could care for someone so heartless. It’s just harder for me to move on cuz I have a child with him but I know I deserve 100x better. I pray that I heal because it’s messing up my relationship with God and I don’t wanna question him. Just want him to take the pain away because I been through too much. I just want to be happy for once

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