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How to Break Up with Someone


Breaking up with someone can be one of the hardest things you have to do in your dating relationships. Getting over heartbreak is hard, and being the one to inflict it isn't much easier. However, there are things you should consider when you go to break up with someone:

Get Yourself in the Right Place

Before you even head out to do the breaking up, make sure you're in the right frame of mind to do it. First, be sure it's actually time to break up and that you want to do it. If you're not sure, it's going to make the conversation that much harder, because you will end up tempted not to end it at all, but stick with it. So go through all the reasons to break up with someone, and make sure you're really ready to let go of the relationship. It helps to turn to God and pray that he be your strength and guide in these times.

Do It in Person

First and foremost, you want to break up with someone in person. There is nothing worse than getting a breakup e-mail or text. If your relationship is long distance, and you won't see each other for a long time, then maybe a phone call will do, but you should allow for there to be conversation. It's the right thing to do. After all, you've invested a part of yourself in this person. Even if things are really bad, you should do it face to face. The only real exception is if it's an abusive relationship. In those cases, a face to face encounter may not be in your best interest. Safety first.

Time and Place Matters

There actually is a good time and place to break up with someone. Yes, you should break up with someone in person, but in a very public place with all your friends watching? That's really not a very nice thing to do. A breakup can be humiliating. There is often crying, voicing of anger and disappointment, that can be embarrassing in public. So, be aware of who is around and how public you're making your breakup. Also, make sure it's not the most devastating time for the person with whom your breaking things off. There really isn't a great time to break up, but when a person is in their darkest moments, that might not be a great time. Other bad times? Birthdays, dances, and more. Don't ruin what should be a good memory. Usually you know you want to break up long before these events. Do it then.

Be Kind About It

So, sometimes breakups come out of anger. For instance, you may be angry because your partner cheated on you. It's okay to be angry, but not cruel. If breaking up isn't in the heat of the moment, you have time to be kind in how you let someone down. Remember, this is probably going to be a heartbreaking moment for your boyfriend or girlfriend. In some cases, one partner has no idea the other one wants out of the relationship. Remember how God asks us to be kind, so be sure to honor that virtue in your break up conversation.

Be Honest About It

God also asks us to be honest, even when you're about the break someone's heart. First if the breakup is due to bad behavior, the other person should be told what it is. Otherwise, he or she will continue to do it to others. In other cases, it may be something you're going through or just an overall incompatibility. However, don't lie. Eventually lies come out, and they never bode well for either of you. For instance, if you don't want to be friends with your ex, that needs to be said. Don't be fake about it. If you feel you need time apart, say it. Just try to express your reasons in a kind and merciful way.

Let Everyone Grieve

It really won't matter much what you say about your breakup, the other person will most likely be hurt. Even if the breakup is mutual, it's still a loss. You need to allow your ex to work his or her way through it. And even on your end, you'll need to grieve the loss of that relationship. Even if you've been ready to end the relationship for a while, it is still good to make sure you're in a good place after it's over.

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